I AM, or Else I’m Bored: Kierkegaard on Identity and Evil
Boredom arises from a refusal to be oneself. Why? Because when we agree to be ourselves, we are in agreement with nature – and in harmony with God. But why would we refuse to be ourselves?
We have another post today by Eugene Terekhin, the man and the mind behind the publication Philosophy of Language.
Eugene is a regular contributing writer to The BoldBrush Letter.
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Feature Article:
I AM, or Else I’m Bored: Kierkegaard on Identity and Evil
Søren Kierkegaard said:
“Boredom is the root of all evil – the despairing refusal to be oneself.”
According to Kierkegaard, boredom arises from a refusal to be oneself.
Why?
Because when we agree to be ourselves, we are in agreement with nature – and in harmony with God.
But why would we refuse to be ourselves?
Because when we don’t know who we are, we inevitably seek to be someone else. We seek to become rather than be. And yet, self-identity is something revealed, not acquired.
Self-made identity is a trap. We refuse to be ourselves because we believe we can manufacture an identity through self-effort.
But when we strive be someone else, we pay for it dearly – eventually, we become bored to death. The worst tragedy under the sun is to live a life that’s not your own. Self-made identity kills the soul.
When we seek to make a name for ourselves, we inevitably become nameless. God’s name is “I AM,” which means He is always what He is. Can I say the same about myself?
The Italian pedagogue Franco Nembrini recalls a conversation with a teenager from Verona who had committed murder and was placed under house arrest.
Franco paid him a visit and was surprised to find that the teenager lived in a big house in a good part of town. The young man knew European art and Italian poetry very well and seemed highly intelligent.
After about an hour, Franco asked him point-blank, “Why did you do this?” Without hesitation, the young man replied, “We wanted to kill time, so we killed the man.”
Boredom is the natural overflow of meaninglessness and namelessness – now knowing who you are.
You go through the motions of life without feeling alive in anything you do. Boredom settles in and breeds evil. When we don’t know who we are, we can only destroy – we cannot create.
To create, you must be called. The ability to create is born the moment we recognize the Call. This Call defines us. Someone is calling out our true name – the Divine “I AM” within us.
We know it by the awakening we feel. Boredom goes. Apathy goes. Meaninglessness goes. We have been called. Suddenly, all our self-made “names” lose their appeal and become trash in comparison with “that.”
That moment of recognition is the beginning of our true identity and the end of evil in our hearts. We want to create, not destroy. We want to love, not hate. True identity is the experience of being at one with oneself.
Interestingly, the word identity comes from the Latin idem, meaning “sameness” or “oneness.” True identity is the sensation of being one with yourself.
False identity is pursued from a sense of lack – we want to become someone in order to feel enough. True identity flows from inner completeness – we no longer need to become anyone else. We feel whole.
False identities are the fig leaves we put on so we don’t feel small, ashamed, or vulnerable. True identity is recognizing the Call and realizing that my name is “I am.”
False identity breeds boredom and wants to be entertained – often through destruction. True identity gives birth to freedom and wants to be engaged – always through creation.
It feels one with oneself and with God and longs to participate in the unfolding of divine mystery.
To be oneself is not to assert, invent, or perform – it is to answer.
It is a life lived in response.
PS — Check out Eugene’s new book Fairy Tales for Grown-Ups: Rediscovering Myth and Meaning through Tolkien, Lewis, and Barfield.
Available on Amazon or his website.
PPS - Don’t forget to sign up for Eugene’s newsletter, Philosophy of Language here.
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It is true, we are very preoccupied with our phone screens and we no longer look each other in the eye, we are no longer interested in what the person next to us says, we no longer have empathy. We have become poorer in spirit, more empty of content, easier to manipulate. But the time will come for the recomposition of our soul and the awakening of consciousness.
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