Ignoring Your Daemon Unleashes a Demon

There is a suppressed darkness in many of us, and, especially in the creatives: The Shadow Side.

Creativity, true creativity, seems to be odd combination of our three selves.  And this is, to be clear, my own understanding of the internal life of an artist as I have experienced it. 

Perhaps these “three selves” are the parts of the psyche that Freud called the id, ego and superego.  Or, perhaps, they are the same thing that Jung called the shadow, the ego, and the anima (or animus if you are a female). Meditators and spiritualists might call them the subconscious, the conscious and the superconscious.  The ancient Greeks had similar ideas called Eros, Ego (eimi), and Logos.

I'll call them The Shadow, The Conscious Self and The Muse.  Only when all three are fully integrated in harmony does one become what I’ve been calling the True Self, The Sovereign Artist within.

There is a suppressed darkness in many of us, and, especially in the creatives: The Shadow Side. 

And this shadow side, this amalgamation of repressed emotions and energies is necessary for most creatives because it can hear the Muse better than your conscious self can.  The Muse works with the shadow to be heard.  Perhaps, together, they form what some call the Daemon Muse. 

However it works, if you are a true creative, you can’t repress The Shadow without dire consequences.  The primal energy of creation that comes from The Shadow must be let out.

The Shadow is not inherently dark, or “bad” (though, like all creativity, it is born in the inner darkness of our mind).  It is a collection of swirling energies, feelings and desires, and it longs to express itself, and believe me, express itself it will, whether "you" are ready for it or not.  

Then there is The Conscious Self: our everyday, rational, logical mind, the "self" that lets us navigate the world safely, that adheres to rules, that upholds its responsibilities.  

And, thirdly, as discussed above, there is The Divine, The Muse, that seemingly higher power and intuition that we tap into when in a flow state of creating, in a relaxed experience of nature, or in a mystical state during meditation.  

True Art requires all three.  

As I mentioned, The Shadow requires expression.  It prefers to express itself through art and creativity where it will manifest as your helpful, creative genius, the daemon.  But, denied that chance, it will express itself in other demonic ways and you will find yourself wondering why did I do that?  Why was I in a bad mood?  Why did I start that argument?  

This energy is only “dark” when it has been suppressed without a creative outlet for too long.  Never forget that Hitler first wanted to be a painter.  He only rolled the Nazi war machine over the world after that plan failed.  Darkness indeed.  

When channeled properly, by allowing your meditative and contemplative sides the space and time to dream up ideas, you allow the "darkness" to express itself instead through writing, through art, through dance– through creativity – and it will be perfectly content because that is, in fact, its preferred mode of expression.  

But, when your Shadow has been suppressed, starting an argument feeds the darkness like dopamine feeds your brain.  It temporarily satisfies The Shadow while also leaving it hungry for more to devour.  

“If I sabotage my artist, I can well expect an eating binge, a sex binge, a temper binge.” – Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way.

If you don’t let your Shadow express itself through creativity, it will force itself out in destructive ways.  Ironically, it uses its power of creation to become rather creative in the way it creates a swath of destruction.  

When we are centered — aligned with our true nature — our Sovereign Artist Within sits on the throne of creativity.  However, if The Shadow is  suppressed for too long, it stands behind us, like Wormtongue stood behind Theodin in Lord of the Rings, whispering lies and accusations into our minds: Needless untrue thoughts, scenarios, exaggerations, and frustrations build up which eventually, in my case, I’m embarrassed to admit, have caused me to explode with white hot anger directed at those I love.  

I have spewed lies and damaged relationships.  I have said things I wish I could take back forever.  In the heat of such moments, The Shadow “takes over” and temporarily, I am the shadow.  That is not an excuse, “The Shadow” is a part of me after all, and I must face the damage I’ve done and deal with the consequences.  Nobody gets a free pass.  But I’ve learned to try to keep the shadow fed with creative outlets.  The worst part is the hurt and pain it causes affects everyone — the people I’ve hurt and the pain that hurt that lives inside of me.  

The answer is to ensure you have adequate creative time.  When I do ensure that I am being creative, instead of The Shadow transforming my world into the lightless hellscape of Mordor, it instead works with The Muse and, together, they transform my everyday life into a divine wonderland of magic, joy and love.

So, I suggest you do the same.  If you don’t, perhaps you’ll do or say something to a loved one that you wish you hadn’t.  You’ll fly off the handle at something silly.  You’ll become worried or anxious.  You’ll slip back into substance abuse perhaps, if that is a demon of yours. 

The Shadow will burn down your world in a demonic tantrum if you ignore it. “She’ll carelessly cut you and laugh while you’re bleeding,” said Billy Joel. 

“Creativity is oxygen for our souls. Cutting off our creativity makes us savage.”  – Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

A demon, you see, is nothing more than a frustrated creative child throwing a tantrum.  A creative person needs to create regularly in the same way that an extravert needs regular interactions with other people.  Otherwise, we risk becoming demons.  This is why Sacred Solitude is so important. 

King Minos’ minotaur was a monster of his own making!  A minotaur is symbolic of the dual nature of man — both animal and  divine.  It can either manifest as a man controlled by the animal savagery of the bull or as the raw power of a bull put to divine creative use by a man.  When the bull is in control (the demon), we depict the minotaur as the head of a bull on a man’s body - a raging animal with the limited strength of a man.  But the true depiction of the minotaur is the head of a man controlling the raw power of the beast - a creative human with the strength of a bull. Let your minotaur out of the labyrinth and into the divine sunlight of creativity and no longer will he devour everyone who enters his labyrinth.

When you allow the shadow its freedom, such as when writing a short story, painting a work of art, or playing your guitar, it will provide you with powerful creative energy.  

Creative activities let these powerful energies out.  Creation provides true, deep soul satiation.   True creation causes your soul’s music to resonate with the symphony of the one divine soul.  And, while creating, your Shadow will happily play with the inspiration from The Muse and the two of them will  collaborate to create something uniquely divine filtered through the most interesting parts of your psyche that turn  your creative play into true art – unique art that only you can create.  

The image of the angel and the demon whispering conflicting thoughts into your ears is incorrect.  In reality, the “angel” and the “demon” want the same thing.  They want you to channel their ideas.  They want you to achieve the state of "genius," at least temporarily, to birth something that only you can birth.  And if you don't give birth to it, woe to the world when the divine abandons you and the darkness overtakes you.  For, Creativity is a jealous and vengeful God.

"For an artist, withdrawal [into creative solitude] is necessary. Without it, the artist in us feels vexed, angry, out of sorts. If such deprivation continues, our artist becomes sullen, depressed, and hostile. We eventually became like cornered animals, snarling at our family and friends to leave us alone and stop making unreasonable demands" — Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

The professional is prepared at a deeper level. He is prepared, each day, to confront his own self-sabotage. — Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art

If you see tremendous beauty or tremendous pain where other people see little or nothing at all, you’re confronted with big feelings all the time. - Rick Rubin