What Happens When We Stop Talking to Those Who Make Us Alive
Why enlivening conversations cure us of dumbness
We have another post today by Eugene Terekhin, the man and the mind behind the publication Philosophy of Language.
Eugene is a regular contributing writer to The BoldBrush Letter.
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Feature Article:
What Happens When We Stop Talking To Those Who Make Us Alive
The less we talk, the less we have to say.
The more we talk, the more there is to say.
That sounds like a contradiction – but it isn’t.
What happens when we don’t talk to a friend for a long time? Will we have more to talk about when we finally meet?
Surprisingly, no. At first, we will have to reconnect – we will have to “catch up.” The conversation doesn’t flow smoothly until that phase is over.
Paradoxically, the less we talk, the less we have to say. The more we talk, the more there is to talk about.
But isn’t that a contradiction? Don’t we have more to share after not seeing a friend for a long time? Don’t we have so much to catch up on?
That’s exactly the point. When there is much to catch up on, it means we’ve grown apart. It takes far more effort and time to reconnect to someone who has drifted so far from you that you need the “catching up.”
When we have grown apart, it is often because, at some point, our conversation ceased. When a conversation ceases, we inevitably fall silent – and eventually become mute. We lose our ability to speak. Speech is kindled only by speech. Human speech springs from hearing Divine speech.
J.R.R. Tolkien captured this strange conundrum beautifully through Treebeard’s words to Pippin, explaining how the Ents came to be. Once, they were only trees. But when the ancient Elves began to speak to them, the trees awoke:
“Elves began it, of course, waking trees up and teaching them to speak and learning their tree-talk. They always wished to talk to everything, the old Elves did… It was the Elves that cured us of dumbness long ago, and that was a great gift that cannot be forgotten.”
— The Lord of the Rings
When I first read this, I thought, What a metaphor!
When someone who is truly alive begins to speak to you, you awaken – you come alive as well. When you cease speaking with them, you gradually fall asleep and eventually fall into silence – become mute. This is exactly what happened to the Ents who stopped speaking with the Elves – they turned back into wood.
The gift of speech is mysterious. Our speech is born from hearing the Speech. We remain mute until we hear God Himself speaking. True speech is always a response. As Jesus said,
“From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
The world itself began in divine speech. In the beginning, there was a divine counsel: “Let us make…” And from that primordial conversation, everything we see came to life.
When we begin conversing with God, we come alive. When we continue in conversation with God, we stay alive and begin to speak words from above. Our speech becomes inspired.
The conversation must not cease, for our ability to converse is born out of conversing.
In the absence of true, enlivening conversation, we begin to lose the gift of speech and drift toward false, deadening talk – the kind that slowly turns us back into wood.
We turn on the TV, scroll through social media, and endlessly watch reels. Whenever I catch myself doing this, I know it’s a sign: I am slowly turning into wood. I am falling asleep. I am becoming mute.
I have to turn back – I have to begin an enlivening conversation with an “Elf” in my life.
For enlivening conversations awaken, stir, and invigorate. They cure us of dumbness – and that is a great gift that cannot be forgotten.
PS — Check out Eugene’s book Fairy Tales for Grown-Ups: Rediscovering Myth and Meaning through Tolkien, Lewis, and Barfield.
Available on Amazon or his website.
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Divinely inspired and timely for me - thank you so much!!
Thanks, Eugene. This left me with interesting thoughts to share with others, exactly your point, and that is appreciated